Baby Steps

This was a fun box to check…

Hmmm, hard to put into words what exactly I am feeling, because it seems all the feelings are so smashed/blended together…makes it hard to process them one at a time.  I guess my emotions are like the ingredients to a chicken pot pie…a bunch of sh…stuff is thrown into a bowl and baked, and then it comes out edible and delish.

God has seemed a little quiet lately in this process, probably so I can take ownership of what we are going through, or maybe I’ve forgotten how to listen…if only I knew the mind of God.  I digress.

So, we had a meeting at the Adoption Center of San Diego this past Tuesday along with 3 other couples seeking to adopt.  We went into the orientation with few expectations other than to gather our information needed to take the next step in our adventure.  What we came away with was some assuagement of some anxieties, a little more clarity at what an open adoption will look like, and for me some lingering emotions/feelings that still needed to be processed.  Kinda why I like this blog thing…this post was in no way planned, I simply felt like I needed to write through some of these feelings and why not share this process with you all, right?

What’s our next step?  Well, we fill out this little questionnaire stating why we want to adopt, what racial preferences we have, etc. (Isn’t that weird?  Amber and I are both really struggling with how we feel about that question…it’s just weird to have to pick the potential ethinicity of our future baby.  More on that later.)  Then, we fill out an application, sit through an interview with the director of the center, and BOOM! we are on our way.

Some words from the director of the Center stuck with both Amber and I from Tuesday night…she said, “I know all of you have been waiting for/wanting a baby for a long time.  Well, with adoption it’s no longer a question of IF, but WHEN.  You WILL have a baby and it will be sooner than later.”  I even tear up as I type this.  With that statement, the word “infertility” was basically stricken from my vocabulary.  What I am discovering in this process is that giving birth is just one of the ways God blesses a family with a child, and by no means the only way that brings fulfillment.

So, while the beard continues to grow…I KNOW it has an expiration date.

Love you all!

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