They Fill My Heart

img_8035 img_8031 Benson-Family-19 Benson-Family-12

The above pics are of my nephews and nieces.  They fill my heart, they bring so much joy and it is my amazing honor to be a part of their life and contribute to how they are shaped as the little people that they are.  Along with God’s continued work on me, these amazing kids have changed me in so many ways…

Since I recently shared a pretty raw glimpse at the adventure Amber and I are in the midst of, I felt it prudent to continue to periodically share where our hearts are at, what God is doing in and amidst us patiently, or often impatiently, waiting on Him to give us the joy of a child, and continue to attempt to bridge that gap of understanding I am sure a lot of other couples are experiencing out there who are struggling with infertility or questioning the option of adoption.

I’m often forced by God, albeit gently, to rework my perspective of my circumstances.  He’s really done a number on me, breaking me of faulty ways of thinking, which is something He gets to continue to do for years to come (did you know a lot of what we think is contrary to what God thinks??  Weird).  When we started down this “Rocky Road to Conception”, my immediate reactions were ones of anger, self-pity, and even arrogance that our problems were so much bigger and more important than what others were experiencing.  I retreated to my internal space which was void of vulnerability and the ability to live presently, and full of bitterness at people surrounding us who could seemingly get pregnant by just looking at their spouse.  Now don’t get me wrong, I celebrate the children of our friends and rejoice in the fact that they don’t have to experience what Amber and I are experiencing.  My bitterness comes from my wrestling with God and my anger with His choosing to allow this season for us (yep, you heard right, I get angry with God).

I’m grateful that I believe in a God who is big enough to handle my infantile pissing and moaning, because essentially that is what it is.  He allows my tantrums to pass, my foot stomping to subside, and then once that is all over it seems His gentle hand reaches out to pull me up from my fall.  And this is where I have seen God use my nephews and nieces to transform my perspective.  For too long I believe I took advantage of the fact that I have 4 incredible kids to invest in and be present with.  They look to me as their “fun Uncle Steve”, but more than that I have the opportunity to validate them, encourage them, and reinforce the gifts God has given them.

I am confident now that regardless of how the timing may work out for Amber and I to have our own kid(s), I am right where God wants me in this very moment…to have margin to love on the other kids that are in my life.  I’m gifted to love on kids, so rather than live from a place of bitterness at not having my own to love on yet, I’m choosing to love on the ones that are in front of me right now.

Thanks for listening.

Unfortunately, you can also end up with a curve in your lower back from leaning too far back. Once again, your abs come to the rescue. Nick Anderson Team officials and trainers examine Orlando Magic guard Nick Anderson as he lies face down on the cheap football jerseys china court after colliding with Rafael Addison of the Detroit Pistons in the second quarter on April 5, 1995 in Orlando, Fl. After ten minutes, Anderson was removed on a stretcher and taken to Florida Hospital where it was determined that he had suffered a severe concussion.. High schools can request field support grants up to $50,000 and field resurfacing grants up to $200,000. Grant deadlines vary.. Lionel Butler (Bogalusa, Louisiana)The Train is a former journeyman turned heavyweight contender. He even once fought Lennox Lewis. Changes in bone density could also increase the risk of rib fractures. An individual who is affected by osteoporosis is most likely to end up with broken or bruised ribs in the event of such accidents or falls. The Falcons, rallying from a 27 16 deficit, went ahead 28 27 on Matt Ryan's five yard touchdown pass to Aldrick Robinson with 4:32 remaining. Atlanta decided to go for two http://www.cheapraybans2013.com points, but Berry stepped in front of Ryan's pass and ran 99 yards the other way to give the Chiefs (9 3) their winning margin. Anyway, this tradition carries on even for dogs that had been living in the comfort of human homes for generations. Tradition just works like that sometimes, you don't know why you and your buddies high five when you're celebrating something, you just do it because that's what people do. Eesh. (LWR 20). From Title IX, which forces colleges http://www.cheapjerseyssalestore.com to have gender equitable teams, to a rule in the NFL that forces coaches to look Cheap Jerseys at a more diverse candidate pool, it is obvious that the sports industry is not immune to Cheap Oakleys the ethical issue of diversity. While white men used to dominate the industry, as of late, more women and minorities are breaking into the field and are becoming very successful. (Photo by Cook County State's Attorney's Office via Getty Images) Getty ImagesTwo caregivers for an cheap oakleys sunglasses elderly couple are facing several charges after the alleged theft of thousands of dollars in jewelry from a client. Sharon Kimball, faces charges of felony theft by taking, felony exploitation of a disabled adult, two counts of misdemeanor theft by deception and misdemeanor theft by taking. CVS is currently undervalued with a forward PE ratio of 13.01 and with the stock trading at only 1.47 times book value per share. It rakes in $6.81 billion in operating cash flow and $5.07 billion in levered free cash flow. Unlike the Raiders running attack the team's receiving corps is clouded with controversy and question marks. Al Davis shocked me and the rest of the world when http://www.nfljerseysshow.com he selected WR Darrius Heyward Bey over Michael Crabtree and Jeremy Maclin.